


'Cause after all this time I'm still into you

by xsticknoodlesx



Series: Reader Inserts [9]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Boggarts, Book 3: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Brother-Sister Relationships, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fix-It of Sorts, Full Moon, Hurt/Comfort, Misunderstandings, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Second Person, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2021-01-21 12:24:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21299429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xsticknoodlesx/pseuds/xsticknoodlesx
Summary: You return to Hogwarts as a Professor, alongside your brother Remus. But things aren't as happy as you would expect them to be because Sirius Black -your ex-boyfriend- has escaped Azkaban. Slowly, you and your brother unravel what really happened on the 31st of October 1981 and you learn to cope with your still lingering feelings for who you believe to be a traitor.
Relationships: Remus Lupin & Reader, Sirius Black/Reader
Series: Reader Inserts [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1417174
Comments: 6
Kudos: 85





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Another Reader-Insert! This time: Harry Potter!  
I try to keep this Canon-Compliant with slight variations. But -being the person that I am- I probably won't be able to help myself from giving this story a happy ending. We'll see. This will also probably be 6 chapters, maybe I'll change it. ^^
> 
> I don't own any of the characters. The title is from "Still Into You" By Paramore.   
Enjoy ^^

The rain was still pouring outside the Hogwarts Express as you hurried down the halls of it to find Harry and his friend, along with your brother – although Harry was more important since you were sure Remus could look after himself.

You stopped dead in your tracks when you saw a Dementor being pushed out of the compartment door by a Patronus. Luckily, it didn’t come your way next so you ran up to the compartment to find Harry lying on the ground, your brother and two other students next to him.

“What happened?”

“Dementor.” Remus explained curtly. “He’ll be fine; he will wake up soon enough.”

“They were looking for Sirius Black.” Hermoine concluded.

You swallowed deeply. Sirius had always been a touchy subject for you but right now your past with him was unimportant. You knelt down next to Harry.

“Harry, wake up.” You urged. “Come on, Harry.”

Remus put a hand on your back. “(Y/N), there’s no need to try and wake him. He will come to in his own time.”

“Who are you if I may ask?” Hermoine asked quietly. “I mean, your suitcase says Professor Lupin and who are you.”

“His sister: (Y/N) Lupin. I’m a Professor at Hogwarts as well. I teach Muggle Studies but what’s infinitely more interesting and important is that my brother teaches Defense Against The Dark Arts.” You explained.

“Muggle Studies is very important, too.” Remus raised a finger. “Nonetheless, I’m glad I found you. When we got separated at the station I was sure we’d find each other but when the Dementors came I got pretty worried.”

“As did I. You chased it away, right?” You asked softly.

“Yes, I did.”

\---

“We’re finally back.“

“I know it’s hard to believe, isn’t it?“

Remus smiled. “And you’re a Professor. I’m proud of you, (Y/N).”

“You’re one, too, Remus.” You explained quickly. “I teach Muggle Studies which is interesting but you teach Defense Against The Dark Arts which is really important!”

“Oh don’t be like that.” He chuckled. “It’s just as important. I know that Lily and James would have been proud.”

You nodded sadly. Before Lily and James’ death, you had been really close to them and their friends. You were Remus’ sister, so naturally when he got closer to Sirius, James and Peter, so had you. Nowadays, you didn’t have contact with any of them which was obviously due to three of them dying and one of them going to Azkaban. 

“I’m very glad to have you here with me, (Y/N). Not just because you can help me during a full moon but also because it’s nice to have you here.”

You laughed gently. “I’d sure hope that you would enjoy spending time with me. I’m your sister, after all!”

Remus then cleared his throat. “You never talked to Sirius again after what happened, right?”

“No, never.” You admitted. “I never even wrote to him to break off our relationship, even though that should have been obvious to him. Do you think he’ll come here?”

“I’m afraid so. He may very likely be looking for Harry.”

“The poor boy.” You looked back at Remus. “We have to protect him. Lily and James would have wanted us to.”

“We will.”

\---

You spent a few nice weeks in Hogwarts, settling into your life of teaching the students. The students loved you, especially Harry and his friends. Little did anyone –but Remus– know that you were Harry’s godmother. After his birth, Lily had insisted on you becoming the godmother and you had been happy to agree. But after their death, Dumbledore had come to the conclusion that you should never tell him in order to protect him. It was one of the one times you had actually hated Dumbledore. Harry was your godson and you could have given him a good life. You and Remus could have raised him – more importantly, you two wouldn’t have abused him as the Dursley’s had. But you were never one to talk back to Dumbledore. He knew best.

On a day like any other, Harry and his friends approached you while you were walking the castle grounds. The three of them came running towards you, waving you down.

“Professor Lupin!” Harry called out. You could only imagine how confusing it was to the students that you and Remus shared a last name. “Professor, do you know anything about the dementors? We just encountered one. Didn’t Dumbledore say that they weren’t allowed close to the castle?”

“They aren’t.” You said sternly. “I need to have a word with him. Try to stay clear off their path, alright?”

“Yes, we are trying.” Hermione nodded. “But they aren’t that easy to avoid. Isn’t there a way to protect ourselves against them?”

“There is but I cannot teach you. That’s Remus’ subject, not mine.” You explained and then chuckled. “I mean you could always use muggle utensils like an umbrella to ward them off but I doubt it would work.”

Harry laughed at that and it made you smile. “Do you and Professor Lupin know one another?”

“You seem like you are close in age.” Ron said softly.

“We’re actually brother and sister.” You chuckled. “And we went to Hogwarts together.”

“Then were you friends with my father and mother?” Harry asked softly.

At this moment you decided to go against Dumbledore’s advice. You could protect Harry and tell him some of the truth. “I was best friends with your mother and also friends with your father because they were dating one another. I also knew Peter and Sirius.”

“Sirius Black?” Hermione exclaimed. “Do you still have contact with him?”

You shook your head and Harry gave Hermoine a pointed look to which she quieted her excitement. He asked more tentatively then. “Did you know him well?”

"Well" was an understatement. You and Sirius had been a couple; you had intended to stay together forever, to get married and maybe have a child, too, so Harry could have had a playmate. But this all went down the drain when Sirius had decided to betray his friends. There was no way you could tell Harry, though.

“We were friends.” You said softly. “But I broke off contact after what happened to your parents because he went to Azkaban.”

“What part did he have in their death?” Harry asked, sounding scared of the answer.

“I cannot tell you. I can only tell you that he is dangerous and we will protect you, should he come looking for you or anyone else.” You said softly. 

“Can Professor Lupin –I mean the other-“ Ron stopped talking and groaned in frustration. “Can your brother help us?”

You chuckled at his frustration. “You can call me (Y/N) if you want to. It’s probably easier. I offered it to most of my students, too.”

“Thanks.” Ron laughed. “We will ask him, then.”

“Perhaps, I can join in if he teaches you or something.” You offered. “I’m not a teacher of that subject but I can offer some help.”

“Yes, that’d be great.” Hermoine smiled. She then looked around. “Do you not think it’s a bit of a careless idea to walk so far away from the castle?”

You shrugged a little. “I can defend myself. You three, however, should stay close to the castle. And I will have a word with Dumbledore.”

\---

That evening, you met your brother in the hallways while you were heading to Dumbledore’s office. You smiled at him, intending to pass but he stopped you with a hand to the chest.

“Where are you going?”

“Talking to Dumbledore. Harry told me that a Dementor came very close to them. I know they’re here for protection but they don’t need to be this close.”

“That’s true.” He agreed. “(Y/N), what have you told Harry?”

“Just that we are siblings and that we knew his father, mother and Sirius.” You sighed.

“Nothing else?”

“Nothing else.”

“He looks so much like James.” Remus sighed sadly before sitting down on a bench in the hallway. “He’s his spitting image.”

You sat down beside him. “Not exactly. He has Lily’s eyes after all.”

“Yes, he does.” Remus agreed. “I remember the first time they showed him to us. They were so proud, so excited to be parents, to raise him and now- It’s so unfair.”

“Something like that is never fair.” You took your brother’s hands. “Harry was such a sweet baby but he was so mischevious. Do you remember the time he stole James’ wand and they found him floating in the kitchen?”

Remus laughed drily. “Yes, or the time he actually escaped through the dog door and we were all running around the garden searching for him in panic? He was just sitting on the patio, hidden behind a potplant. Why did they even have a dog door?”

“For Sirius.” You said softly, barely audible. “I miss these times when we were all together, happy and no one was a Death Eater or evil or- or dead.”

“We need to protect Harry. If Sirius finds him, maybe- I don’t want to think about it.” Remus shook his head. “But (Y/N)?”

“Yes?”

“I wanted to thank you again for sticking around me, for being there every month and for- just for not leaving and giving me up.”

“Oh, Remus.” You said softly, embracing him. “Of course, I’d stick around. Family helps one another and sticks around even in hard times. I’d never leave you alone with your condition. You need my help and you would do the same for me.”

“Of course.”

“Then don’t thank me. You would help me and I will always help you.” You let go and nodded. “On top of that, it’s safe for me to stay.”

You were an animagus and that meant your brother wouldn’t harm you during his transformations. When James, Sirius and Peter learned to be an animagus, you had jumped on the opportunity to help. You had known that your Patronus was a wolf for a while back then and you had also known that your Animagus form would be a wolf. And what better company for a werewolf than another wolf? A dog was, of course, a good company for a werewolf, as well, but your animagus form was just a bit better since you were taller and stronger.

“The scar by your left eye says otherwise.”

“That was not your fault and you know it. I transformed too late which was my mistake and I was stupid.” You said sternly. “Really, Remus.”

“Will you talk to Dumbledore? Maybe I should join.”

“I’d like that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, just a little warning. I will upload more than one chapter today because I have more than one at the ready and I want everyone to get into it easier ^^


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter that I hope you will enjoy ^^  
I will upload the third one today and the later ones when they are ready.

Your talk with Dumbledore turned into a full-blown argument. While he absolutely agreed to the Dementor situation he was less than excited to hear that you had told Harry that you and Remus had known his parents. 

“I never told him I’m his godmother or that I was Sirius’ girlfriend or-”

“It doesn’t matter.” Dumbledore said in an authorial voice. “He should never know that Sirius was taken to Azkaban after his parents’ death. It is only a matter of time until he finds out how he is related to Sirius.”

“So?” You shook your head. “He deserves to know!”

“He is a young boy.”

“I have to agree with (Y/N).” Remus said sternly. “We may be able to protect him better that way! If he doesn’t know, he will get curious and get into danger!”

“Had (Y/N) not told him that Sirius had a hand in his parents’ death, he would have never been curious!” Dumbledore bellowed. “You endangered the boy you vowed to protect.”

“I never said anything of that sort to him! I merely said I knew him!” You shouted at him. “He should know! He deserves to know!”

“He is only a boy!”

“And he’s encountered unspeakable horrors!” Remus snapped. “He should know why Voldemort is targeting him, why Sirius Black is coming for him and why we vowed to protect him!”

“You cannot tell the boy that Sirius Black is his godfather.” Dumbledore said. “That is final. You may tell him you befriended his parents but you may not talk about Sirius Black.”

You and Remus looked at one another, fuming at those words. Dumbledore led you to the office door.

“Now, I will need to take care of the Dementor problem.”

\---

A week later, Remus had agreed to teach Harry to protect himself and while Ron and Hermoine weren’t part of these lessons, you were present. You stood by the side to watch Harry and Remus as your brother explained the boy to think of his happiest memory. 

It saddened you since you yourself were unsure of what that memory might even be. Perhaps, it was the day you got the letter to invite you to Hogwarts or the Yuleball you attended. In your youth, the memory you used was the first time Sirius had told you he loved you but nowadays it saddened you more than anything.

You watched on as Remus opened the chest and let out the Boggart. Absentmindedly, you wondered what form the Boggart would take for you these days. Would it be Remus’ dead body? Would it be Harry’s dead body? Would it be something entirely different?

It was hard for Harry to fend off the Boggart in the form of a Dementor so Remus helped, pushing it away from the boy. You gasped, worried for Harry and that distracted your brother. He turned to you and the Boggart came towards you. You pulled your wand, ready to fend it off when it started to change form.

Remus looked back at you, now done with checking on Harry. Harry himself was watching you, as well. You stared back at the Boggart as it took the form of Sirius. He looked just like the day you had last seen him, before James and Lily’s death, except he was wearing prison clothes, his hair dishevelled and eyes red.

You were in shock, your blood running cold. Seeing Sirius again –even if it was only due to the Boggart– made your mind practically short-circuit. He came toward you, bending down. You tried to scoot away but he grabbed your chin, turning your head towards him. In your mind, you were begging Remus to help but he seemed just as startled by seeing his old friend as you were.

“(Y/N).” Boggart-Sirius said softly. “My love.”

You choked on your words. “No!”

“I’ve missed you so terribly. I’ve come back to you.” He said in a soft, alluring voice. “Oh, for over a decade I have missed you and yet I still love you.”

“No!” You pleaded, shaking your head just for his hand to tighten around your chin. “No, I don’t want you to still love me.”

“You’re lying.” His voice sounded taunting. “Isn’t this what you’ve always wanted? Me coming back to you? We could run from this place, live together.”

“I don’t want that- I-”

“Oh, but you do.”

You felt tears escaping your eyes as Boggart-Sirius looked into your eyes. It was Harry shouting your name that snapped you out of your panic and you managed to point a wand at him.

“Riddikkulus!” You exclaimed, your voice breaking and Sirius turned into nothing but dust before your feet.

You fell to your knees, sobbing brokenly as your brother ran over to you, quickly confining the Boggart before embracing you.

“(Y/N).” He whispered. “Are you with me?”

“Y-yes.” You choked out. “He- I never wanted- I don’t want that!”

“Calm down.” Remus said softly. “He’s gone.”

“I’m so confused.” You shrieked. “I feel so horrible.”

“Why was he saying these things?” Harry asked, swallowing. “Why do you feel horrible?”

“I’m such a terrible person because I miss him!” You finally sobbed out. “I miss our past, the way we used to be and the love we had for one another! I just want that back!”

“Oh, dear.” Remus said quietly, holding you tightly. “You’re not a terrible person. The Sirius you miss and loved is gone. The Sirius you want is not the one that has escaped. He’s changed and you miss how he used to be.”

“I’m a horrible person.” You choked out.

“No.”

“You can admit it.”

“I would never think of you as a horrible person.” He promised. “That was scary, wasn’t it?”

You wiped your eyes. “Don’t patronize me.”

“Were you and Sirius in love?” Harry whispered from next to you.

You turned to him and gave a weak nod. “We were, but not anymore. I never talked to him- not after what he did.”

“I understand.”

“Please, you have to believe that all I want to do is protect you. I would never help Sirius in hurting you.” You pleaded. “My feelings don’t change the fact that I despise him for what he did to you and your parents. I will always protect you.”

“I know.”

\---

The next day, you were grading some tests when Remus walked in and sat down at the opposite side of the table. You knew it was him, so you didn’t look up, instead opting for simply asking him what he wanted.

“He’s done it. He conjured up a Patronus. It wasn’t a corporal Patronus and not the strongest one I’ve ever seen but he is learning quickly.” Remus told you excitedly. “He’s so much like James; so talented and smart.”

You looked up at Remus, giving him a sad smile. “His mother was very talented, too.”

“I miss them.”

“Me, too.”

You were about to say something when the door opened again and Severus walked in. Both of you turned to the door, eyeing the man.

“Oh, excuse me, am I interrupting a family lunch?” Severus scoffed.

“What do you need?” You asked, getting up. 

“I have a question regarding the young Mr Potter.” Severus raised an eyebrow. “He has been roaming the halls at night. Perhaps, you should talk to him about that and inform him that this behaviour isn’t acceptable.”

“Don’t you worry, Severus.” Remus got up. “We will talk to him but may I ask why you didn’t confront him about it? I thought terrorizing students was your favourite past-time.”

“You should know a thing or two about terrorising people, shouldn’t you?”

You narrowed your eyes, immediately getting protective of your brother. “You stop that right now. I don’t care what you-”

“(Y/N).” Remus said softly. “He is helping me.”

“Helping you?” You turned to your brother. “How is insulting you helping?”

“Not with his insults. He gets me Wolfsbane potion every month. I can just curl up in my office and wait out the night.” He said softly. “Don’t go off on him.”

You turned to Severus. “Why are you being so nice?”

“I don’t fancy a werewolf running rampant through the castle.” Severus looked at you. “It’s not me being nice and I still don’t like either of you but what I do like is not getting ripped to shreds.”

You looked at Remus whose face had fallen and shook your head. “That wouldn’t have happened, either way. We were fine for years without you. I appreciate your help but we wouldn’t have been helpless without you. Remus is not dangerous without your help.”

“The scar on your face says otherwise.” Severus scoffed.

“How dare you say that to my brother?” You hissed at him before pointing at the scar that stretched over your eyebrow and part of your forehead. “This is because I was stupid enough to be around a werewolf as a human! It was not his fault, you little-”

“(Y/N)!” Remus said curtly. “Don’t insult him, please. I need his help. His words don’t upset me, so you don’t have to protect me, yes?”

“I’m sorry.” You sighed. “I’m thankful for your help.”

“No need to thank me. It’s more out of self-protection than anything. I wouldn’t want my face sliced up, too.” He said before he turned to walk off.

You were about to follow him but Remus caught your arm, gently pulling you back into the office before closing the doo. Turning to him, you scowled at his upset expression.

“Oh, you know he’s a mean-spirited man. Don’t listen to a word he says.” You said softly. “I screwed up and didn’t transform soon enough; that’s the only reason I got injured. It’s just a scratch.”

“It’s a scar.” He said sadly. “I scared my own sister for life and-”

“And it was her own fault.” You finished. “Remus, it wasn’t your fault. None of this was ever your fault.”

“Thank you.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty, the other chapters will be up soon. Enjoy ^^

“Are you with me?“ You asked softly as you looked down at your brother.

Remus sat up in the hospital bed. “Yes, I am. How long was I out?”

“Not too long; it’s only afternoon. I waited for you.” You smiled at him. “It was interesting to see you change but keep your mind. We just curled up in your office the whole time.”

“Sibling bonding.” Remus joked and rubbed his head. “I have to thank Severus again. Thank you for waiting by my bedside.”

“Oh, no need to thank me.”

You were about to say more when the doors opened and Professor McGonagall came hurrying over to the two of you, a concerned look on her face. Remus looked at you in worry and you gave him a reassuring smile.

“Professor Mc-”

“I told you countless times to call me Minerva.” She said and stopped at Remus’ bedside. “But that isn’t why I came.”

“What happened?” You whispered.

“Sirius Black was spotted by the Fat Lady. He’s in the castle. He may be coming for Harry.” She said in a stern voice. “Professor Dumbledore has ordered the castle to be locked down. All the students will sleep in the Great Hall. If you are feeling alright, I may suggest that the two of you join us in the Great Hall tonight.”

You nodded slowly. “If Remus feels alright, we will. Otherwise, I will stay here with him.”

“No, I should be fine.” He slowly rose from the bed and you jumped up to support him. “This time wasn’t as bad thanks to Professor Snape.”

“I need to thank him, then.” You whispered softly.

\---

You kept walking through the hallways of the castle, your wand lightened up as you were patrolling. The night had been uneventful so far. The students were asleep, a few teachers were in the Great Hall to watch over them and you were pacing the hallways because right now it was your turn. 

Sadly, you had been paired with Severus and although you had tried to have a conversation and thank him for helping your brother, now the two of you were silently walking down the hallways.

“Is she entirely sure that he is in the castle?” You whispered. “What would we do if he is? We locked him in here with us.”

“Perhaps it was you who let him in.” Severus looked at you. “Your old lover, coming back and you can’t help but surrender to your feelings for him.”

“I assure you that I have no feelings for a murderer and traitor, Severus. Don’t you worry; my only concern is keeping Harry and everyone else safe.”

“So if he came to you, telling you how much he still loves you, you would simply turn him away?” 

“That is really not a conversation to have now.” You shook your head.

“That is all the answer I need.” He sneered. “All throughout school from our fifth year on, you two have been all over one another. You were so in love; I doubt you can just forget these feelings.”

“I have had enough time to come to let him go!” You snapped. “Twelve years I had the time to leave him behind!”

“It’s just a shame that you never fully could, no matter how much time passed.” He looked at you. “I heard you and Remus talk about your Boggart. It was Sirius.”

You turned to Severus. “I do not love him! I am scared of him coming to get Harry! That is why he is my Boggart!”

“Then why was he saying how much he loves and misses you?” Severus snapped. “You still have feelings for him and that scares you! And if he came to you, you would help him in the blink of an eye!”

“That is not true!”

“Oh but it is!”

You turned away from him, marching off and trying your best to quickly finish up your rounds. Once you had done so, you returned to the Great Hall where Remus saw your distraught face and came to you.

“What happened? Is he here?”

You whispered out your answer. “Severus said that I still love Sirius and that I would help him get inside if he asked me. You know that that’s false.”

“Of course, I do.” Remus rubbed your shoulders. “Listen to me. The version of Sirius you miss is not who he is today and you know that. You would never help him inside.”

“You know I would never help him.”

“I know, (Y/N).”

The rest of the night went by without much of an incident. Remus and you kept watch over the student with the other Professors. Eventually, the sun rose and Dumbledore deemed it safe for the students to go back to their dorms to get ready for a day of school. 

That day, nothing much happened and eventually, night fell upon the castle once more. This night, Dumbledore was confident that there was no sign of Sirius Black in the castle so the students were allowed to sleep in their dorms again. You and Remus went to your respective rooms that night, not expecting anything weird to happen.

You awoke to a banging on your door. After a few seconds, it came again and you realised it was your brother. Quickly, you got up and opened the door to let him inside. He came in and you put on a cardigan.

“What is it?” You looked back at him. “Are you okay?”

“Harry found the map.” He held out the Marauders’ map. “He was wandering the corridors and Severus caught him. I came to help him out and took the map from him. He says it shows Peter Pettigrew.”

You narrowed your eyes. “Really? How is that possible?”

“I’m afraid I don’t know.” Remus said softly. “Harry said so.”

“Then let’s check!” You insisted, reaching for the map just for Remus to pull it away.

Remus looked at you sternly. “Don’t get any hopes, please.”

“I won’t. I just want to see if the map shows him and if- well maybe we can find him.” You said softly. “Remus, show it to me.”

Your brother nodded and put the map on your bed before pointing his wand at it. “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.”

You watched in nostalgia as the map started to reveal its contents. Ever since the map was finished –you even got to help with it– your brother and his friends used it all the time. Sometimes, they’d even let you use it. 

It held so many memories. Memories of you and Sirius sneaking off for some private time and the others finding you with the map just so they could prank you. It held memories of you and Remus running through the castle, trying to find Sirius, Peter and James to stop them from doing something reckless again and eventually just joining them. You felt tears rise in your eyes.

“Are you alright?” Remus asked in a soft voice.

You gave a wet laugh. “Do you remember that one Halloween night when Sirius and I snuck off to- well you know. Anyway, we were trying to get some privacy from you guys and you simply threw a little smoke bomb in there to annoy us. Sirius was so mad. Do you remember?”

“Yes.” Remus said softly. “I tried to tell James and Peter to stop.”

“Of course you did.” You laughed sarcastically.

“Do you-”

“Remus!” You exclaimed. “There’s- It’s Peter! It says right there that he’s heading for the Gryffindor tower!”

Remus leaned forward. “You’re right. How could that be? The map is never wrong so how can it show Peter? I-“

“Let’s go and see if it’s him.” You said, quickly jumping up.

“Do you want to get dressed first?”

“No, a cardigan is enough.” You slipped on your shoes and hurried out of the bedroom. “Come on, Remus.”

The two of you hurried down the hallways until you were close to Peter. Remus held the map and you used your wand to light the way, careful as to not disturb the paintings. Peter was coming closer to you now, his walk seemingly wonky and uneven.

You felt Remus tense next to you and you swallowed nervously. Peter was almost upon you. You shone the light around as Remus muttered about him having to be in eyesight.

Then suddenly he had passed you. But no one was in sight.


	4. Chapter 4

A few days later, you were approached by Harry. This times he was alone, his friends currently in Hogsmeade along with many other students. You invited him to take a walk with you and he happily obliged.

The two of you ended up walking along the shore of the Great Lake, talking about anything and everything. You were happy that you now had the chance to talk to your godson and get to know him. Never ever had you imagined that you would get to know him when he was already thirteen; never ever had you imagined that his parents would have died.

“(Y/N)?” He looked up at you. “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything, Harry.”

“Were you in love with Sirius Black?” 

“What?” You stopped dead in your tracks, looking at him.

“I mean, I saw your Boggart, I heard Remus talking to you about it and I heard Snape taunting you.” Harry swallowed. “It’s alright if you were. Back then you probably didn’t know what would happen.”

You sighed softly. “We were deeply in love, never apart and always all over one another. We drove your father insane.”

Harry chuckled softly. “Well, I heard that wasn’t any better when it came to my mother.”

“Oh, he was head over heels in love with her.” You gave a soft laugh as you resumed walking. “We were all inseparable.”

“And now you feel bad about it?” Harry asked softly. “I mean, is it because you still love him?”

“I love the version of him that I was dating back in the old times, the loyal and cunning Sirius. The man that did everything for Remus, James or me. I guess it’s this old picture of him that I miss and still love. But I can assure you I don’t love the man he has become.” 

“I understand that.” Harry said gently. “I don’t think you’re a bad person. That’s what you’re scared of, right?”

“Yes.”

“You aren’t a bad person.”

“Thank you, Harry.”

“What about Peter Pettigrew? I’m sure Remus told you that we saw him on the map.” Harry inquired. “Does that mean he’s alive?”

“The map is never wrong.” You stated. “Perhaps he is alive and hiding. We just have to figure out what’s going on with him exactly. But I have to implore you and your friends to not go looking for him or Sirius, for that matter.”

“Don’t worry. We won’t.”

\---

Weeks had passed since you and Remus had discovered Peter Pettigrew on the map. You had only seen him once more, just outside the castle but when you had finally made it outside, there was no one there and he was gone.

You and Remus had spent a long time trying to come up with theories on how Peter could have survived. Eventually, you found yourself faced with another possibility.

“Maybe Sirius is innocent.” You whispered to yourself. The map was sprawled out in front of you. Remus was currently talking to Dumbledore. “If Peter’s death wasn’t what truly happened, maybe Sirius betraying Lily and James wasn’t, either.”

That’s when you saw Harry and his friends on the map. They had been at Hagrid’s Hut previously and even though you knew they should be in the castle, you didn’t mind. You felt sorry for Hagrid and Buckbeak and were more than happy that Harry and his friends were comforting the man. For the past few minutes, they had been standing upon a hill, probably watching the execution from afar. 

You were startled when you saw that Ron had begun to run off, heading to the Whomping Willow. And you were even more startled when you saw that he was in pursuit of Peter Pettigrew. But what made you jump up was the fact that Sirius Black was gaining in on them.

Quickly, you put on your jacket and grabbed your wand. You ran down the corridors, still looking at the map as you tried to navigate the castle with your eyes glued to the piece of parchment. Sirius was apparently dragging Ron and Peter with him. Harry and Hermione were following them to the Willow. 

You knew exactly were the passageway lead. Countless times you had gone down there to assist your friends and brother during the full moon. It led to the Shrieking Shack. For a second you considered going to find Remus first but saving Harry from Sirius Black was more important.

Now that he was dragging Peter and Ron off while Harry and Hermione pursuit him, there was no doubt in your mind that he was up to no good.

\---

When you reached the Willow, you quickly immobilised it before going into the passageway. Within no time you were inside the Shrieking Shack and you followed the commotion upstairs.

Ron was lying on a sofa, bleeding. Sirius must have attacked him as Padfoot. Harry and Hermione were next to him. Peter and Sirius were nowhere to be seen. 

“(Y/N), watch out!” Hermione called out. “He’s an animagus!”

You knew, of course. When you turned, Sirius was standing in the corner of the room, looking dishevelled and in a horrible state. His hair and beard had grown out, looking like neither had been cut in some time. His once well-defined cheeks were sunken in from –what you guessed– were years of malnutrition. Not only his face looked slimmer but his whole frame did, even though it was partially concealed by the loose-fitting coat he had thrown on over the prison clothes. 

But the worst part was his eyes. Once so full of mischief, fun and love, they were now hopeless and broken, underlined with dark circles and reflecting what he must have gone through in Azkaban. The worst part was that you could still see a glimmer of hope in them; a glimmer of uncertain, fragile hope that he was terrified to let show.

An immense instinct overcame you to go to him, embrace him, comfort him and care for him. But even if Peter was alive, you were still not sure who betrayed James and Lily. You couldn’t let your feelings get the best of you.

You pulled out your wand, aiming it at Sirius.


	5. Chapter 5

“Don’t touch him!“ You yelled at Sirius, pointing his wand at him. “Don’t move!”

“(Y/N).” He said in a soft voice, almost in disbelief. “Why are you here?”

“She’s our professor.” Hermoine said quite angrily. “Why are you here? To kill Harry? We won’t let you! You have to kill us first!”

You nodded your head to the left, motioning for Sirius to move away from the children. “Get away from them this instance, you traitor! They were your friends! We were all your friends!”

“It wasn’t me.” He raised his hands. “You have to believe me because otherwise, the real traitor will escape.”

“Why would I believe you?” You asked shakily. “If you don’t move away from them-”

Sirius interrupted you. “You won’t hurt me.”

“Yes, I will.”

“No, you still care for me. That’s why you need to listen to me.” He urged. “I didn’t betray them; it was Peter.”

You lowered your wand a bit, thinking of the night you and Remus had seen him on the map. “How could that be possible? I was under the impression that you killed him.”

“He’s alive and he’s here in the room with us!” Sirius looked around. “Peter, come out to play with your old friends.”

Ron whimpered in fear and he and his friends cowered in the corner. You followed Sirius with your wand, eyeing him.

Hermione shook her head. “He is dead! They found-”

“A finger? That coward cut it off himself to fake his death! He’s alive and he’s right there!” Sirius pointed at the rat Ron was holding.

Ron looked on in confusion. “Me? He’s mental!”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “Not you; the rat!”

“Scabbers? No, he’s just a rat!” He insisted. “We had him for-”

“Twelve years? Pretty long life for a normal rat, wouldn’t you think so?” 

You eyed Ron. “Check his paw.”

“Are you serious?” Hermoine turned to you. “(Y/N), you-”

“Check his paw!” You urged them.

Ron swallowed and did. “He’s missing a finger but that doesn’t mean anything. He could have lost it anywhere.”

Sirius narrowed his eyes. “He faked his death, betrayed his friends and framed me for their death! (Y/N), believe me!”

“I-”

Before you could say anything, Remus stormed in, disarming you. All the heads turned to him and you eyed him in question. He caught your wand and looked back at you.

“What did he tell you?”

“He said Peter betrayed them and that he’s Scabbers.” You eyed your brother. “I know Peter’s animagus form was a rat but I would have never thought he’d be Ron’s rat. That can’t be.”

“But the Marauders’ Map.” Remus said urgently. “It shows Peter.”

Harry shook his head. “That’s impossible. Maybe it’s wrong.”

“The map’s never wrong.” Remus insisted. “Ron, would you give us the rat?”

Ron shook his head. “Leave him alone!”

“Ron, please.” You urged. “If it’s him, we will see.”

Reluctantly he handed it over and you carefully took it. The rat scratched at your hands, trying to escape and you held it down on the old piano. Remus and Sirius pointed their wands at him and before you knew it, he transformed into Peter.

You took a step back, taking your old place beside Sirius and Remus. The three of you and the three children watched in horror and awe as Peter changed into a human.

“You!” Sirius exclaimed, pointing his wand at Peter. “They trusted you! They were your friends!”

“Sirius, Remus, (Y/N), my old friends!” Peter tried as he scrambled off the piano.

“Save it!” You hissed, pointing your wand at him. “How dare you? Do you know how much pain and suffering you caused?”

“The Dark Lord is horrible and convincing. What would you have done?” Peter stuttered.

“I would have died!” Sirius proclaimed. “I would have let myself be killed rather than betray my friends!”

Your hand was shaking as tears gathered in your eyes. Sirius was innocent, Peter was alive and guilty. Everything was too much but right now, you needed to be strong for your friends and godson.

“He could have tortured me all he wanted!” You hissed. “Lily and James trusted us and you betrayed them! They had little Harry with them; a little boy; a baby!”

“You horrid man.” Remus said, deeply hurt. “But now we have you here.”

“Let’s kill him!”

“Wait.” Remus held up a hand.

“I’ve done my waiting! Twelve years of it; in Azkaban!” Sirius shouted.

You turned to him, tears in your eyes. “No. Don’t kill him. We take him back to the castle and prove your innocence.”

“(Y/N).” Sirius said, softer now. “You believing in my innocence is all I care about.”

“No, that’s not enough.” You shook your head. “He should be locked up and you should be a free man, able to live your life and be Harry’s godfather.”

Sirius looked at you for a few seconds before he smiled. “Can I touch you?”

You felt your eyes water as you nodded and went to embrace him before he even had the chance to come to you. The two of you held one another for a few seconds while Remus held Peter in place. Before the two of you could part, Severus came inside, disarming Remus and eyeing you and Sirius.

“I should have known.” He said in a low voice. “Your old lover is back and you let him inside the castle. Or did your brother let him inside?”

“Severus.” Sirius said coldly as he let go of you. “Brilliant Severus used his razor-sharp mind and came to the wrong conclusion.”

“Sirius.” Remus said sternly. “Do not-”

“Oh, be quiet, Remus.”

“Fighting like an old married couple, I see.” Snape shook his head. “Now who is that?”

You turned to Severus. “Peter Pettigrew. He is alive and-”

“I will bring Sirius to the Dementors myself and they will be delighted to kiss him. Perhaps I shall even watch.”

“Severus, don’t be stupid.” You began but Sirius interrupted you.

“He can’t do anything else.”

“Sirius!” You turned to him. “Will you stop it?”

Sirius gestured at Severus. “How can he still possibly believe what everyone was told when Peter Pettigrew –who he was told had died– is standing right in front of him?”

“I don’t know but insulting him is hardly the way to go!”

Sirius heaved a sigh. “I love you but sometimes you frustrate me so much.”

“Oh, how endearing.” Snape sneered. “Would you all be so kind as to follow me?”

“Wait!” Harry exclaimed from next to Hemione. “He is innocent! He needs to at least have a chance to prove it!”

“Mr Potter, I would advise you to stay out of this.” 

Severus raised his wand at Sirius but before anything could happen, Harry had disarmed him and shot him across the room. Hermione was livid about Harry attacking a teacher but she forgot about it to help Ron to his feet. You went with Remus to keep Peter in check while Sirius helped support Ron. Harry quickly grabbed his wand and led the way.

“Should we leave Severus there?” You mumbled when you had made it down the stairs.

“He will find the way back to the castle himself.” Sirius shrugged. “He will be fine.”

Ron nodded. “I only care about getting to Madame Pomfrey, to be honest.”

“I’m sorry about your leg.” Sirius said softly.

The seven of you made it to the Whomping Willow and onto the hill. Ron was set down on the ground and Hermione knelt next to him. Remus promised to take care of Peter, allowing you, Sirius and Harry to talk.

“Harry, I want you to know that once I’m cleared of my charges, you are welcome to live with me.” Sirius said softly. “it may sound like a very spontaneous idea and if you prefer living with your aunt and uncle, I understand. Just- if you ever want to get out of there, you can come to me.”

You smiled softly at Harry’s happy reaction. “To us.”

Sirius looked up at your correction. “Us?”

You swallowed. “For one, I am his godmother. But I thought that perhaps if you wanted to try and rekindle our relationship, I’d be open for it.” Quickly, you shook your head. “But this is not the right time for this conversation.”

“No, it is.” Sirius insisted. “(Y/N), I would be glad to rekindle it. And perhaps we could create a good environment for Harry.”

Harry smiled even brighter. “I would love to. Even though I just found out I have a godmother, too, I absolutely love the idea. Really.”

“Maybe, we can be happy.”

That’s when you heard a commotion from behind you and turned to see Hermione exclaimed something and pointing at the full moon that was beginning to show behind the clouds. You had forgotten the full moon. Your brother was a werewolf and you had forgotten the full moon.

You quickly ran to the others just as Severus excited the little hole in the ground. Now you had to think fast because Peter was already trying to escape. Quickly, you grabbed your wand and held it out towards him.

“Petrificus Totalus!” You called out and Peter was immobilized.

Sirius was now busy trying to calm Remus down while the kids were looking on in horror. You tuned to Severus.

“I know we had our differences but please you have to believe me now. Take Peter and the kids to the castle. Get Ron to the Hospital Wing and Peter to Dumbledore. Tell him that he needs to keep him there until we come or else we might never know the truth.” You urged. “I don’t know if you believe in Sirius’ innocent but he deserves a chance.”

Severus, to your surprise, nodded and elevated Peter’s body to get him to the castle while he urged Hermione and Harry to support Ron.

“Thank you.” You smiled a little. “Lily would have wanted it this way.”

“Don’t bring her up.” Severus hissed. “Just keep Lupin away from the castle and from us until we are safe.”

You nodded and turned to Sirius and your almost completely transformed brother. “Sirius, dear, we need to transform and keep him distracted.”

Sirius nodded and in an instant, he was Padfoot. You transformed yourself into your animagus form –a wolf which you called Howler– before turning back to Remus and Sirius. It was interesting to see how Moony reacted to Padfoor after twelve years apart. He seemed withdrawn and even hurt by the dog’s absence. So it was no surprise that a fight began when Remus tried to pursuit Snape and the children and Sirius tried to stop him.

The two of them began to fight until you stepped in, placing yourself in front of the dog and growling at your brother. Now you had been there for Remus for years and you had been there every month during the full moon to keep your brother company. He seemed to recognize the wolf that had stuck around and backed down if only to not hurt you. 

You nudged his arm, trying to direct him into the other direction when suddenly, there came a howl from the forest. There couldn’t be another werewolf – you would have most likely noticed. It didn’t really sound like an actual howl anyway but more like someone imitating it. Your brother didn’t seem to be able to tell the difference and took off into the direction of the forest.

Before you followed him, you went over to Sirius, nudging him until he looked up at you, battered and hurt but alright. He nodded into the direction of the forest before stumbling to his feet and you took off to follow your brother.

To your surprise, you saw two people in the forest, although they ran away before you could see who it was. You howled once, twice and a third time before Remus seemed to react to it and came running towards you.

Sirius was out of danger, the kids and Snape must have been in the castle by now, Dumbledore would surely take care of Peter, the people in the forest were safe from your brother and you were with him. Now all you needed to do was distract him and keep him out of trouble until the moon went down.


	6. Chapter 6

As soon as you opened your eyes in the Hospital Wing, you jumped up to see how everyone was doing. Madame Pomfrey gently pushed against your shoulder so you would lie back down.

“What happened? Why- where is Remus? And Sirius and the kids and-”

“Now Miss Lupin, you need to calm down. Everyone is in a stable condition. To my knowledge, you and your brother were in the Forbidden Forest last night and you had a little bit of a run-in with a Dementor once you two had changed back. They hadn’t informed on the newest revelations and thought you had helped Sirius Black escape. Dumbledore took care of them.”

The plan to keep Remus out of trouble had apparently not worked out quite so well but at least, nothing serious seemed to have happened. “Where’s Remus?”

“In the bed next to you.” Madame Pomfrey drew back the curtain and you saw Remus looked at you, looking battered and worn out. “He’ll be fine, as well.”

“(Y/N), I’m sorry.” He whispered. “I forgot the potion and I endangered all of you.”

“People forget things; it’s only human. I could have reminded you, as well.” You sighed and sat up. “How are you feeling?”

“I’ve been worse.” Remus smiled softly. “How are you?”

“All fine.” You assured him. “Apparently the Dementors ran into us?”

“Yes, I heard that, too. They seemed quite angry at us. But I heard Dumbledore took care of it.” Remus assured you. “Sirius is in the bed across from you if you want to check on him.”

“No, I should stay with you.”

Remus rolled his eyes affectionately and chuckled a little. “Just go to him.”

Slowly, he rose from your bed and staggered over to Sirius’ bed. When you drew the curtain back, he looked up at you and smiled softly.

“Sirius.” You breathed out and went over to embrace him. “You looked terrible last night. I was worried about you.”

“I’m alright. Had a bit of a Dementor run-in.” He confessed. “I heard you two did, too.”

“Yes.” You swallowed. “Now, do you know whether or not Peter confessed.”

“Dumbledore made him confess.” Sirius sat up and drew back to look at you. “I’m cleared of all charges. It’ll be in the Daily Prophet this morning, I bet. I’m a free man.”

A grin spread across your face. “I can’t believe it! I mean I can- I always thought you could have never done this to Lily and James and- Sorry, I’m just so happy.”

Sirius chuckled a little. “What you said last night about us getting back together and creating a happy home for Harry. Do you still mean it?”

“Of course I do.” You nodded quickly. “Sirius, I never stopped loving you. And for the longest time, it made me feel horrible, like a monster or a terrible person. But now that you’re innocent, I can say it again, I can tell people that I love you and I would really love to give us another chance.”

“It won’t be easy.” He sighed. “I’m not young and whole anymore.”

“But neither am I.” You insisted. “Things have changed but my feelings for you haven’t. We can be happy.”

“What about Remus?”

“I was actually going to ask you to come live with us.” You smiled. “We have a little cottage in the woods and you could live there. You can stay in my room with me and we can turn the guest room into a room for Harry.”

“Are you sure about this?”

“We can be happy, Sirius.”

\---

The two of you approached Harry that afternoon in the Great Hall. He had been sitting there with Hermione and Ron who was showing off his injured leg to his classmates. You gently tapped Harry on the shoulder.

He turned and then smiled brightly. “Sirius, you were cleared of all charges!”

“I know. I’ve been told. I wanted to see you immediately.” Sirius smiled happily. “And I must say coming into the castle and the Great Hall as a free man is just as amazing as I imagined it.”

You smiled softly, happy to see Sirius this way. “How is Ron’s leg?”

“Oh, he’s doing alright.” Harry smiled a little. “Right, Ron?”

Ron nodded. “Yeah, I’ll live. But I’d appreciate if we’d keep the dog away from my legs from now on.”

“I told you, I’m a pretty nice dog normally.” Sirius chuckled. “I just wanted to get Pettigrew.”

“What happened to him?” Hermione asked softly.

You looked at her. “We were told that he was taken to Azkaban after Dumbledore made him confess. Then Sirius was cleared of all charges. It should be in the Daily Prophet actually. Do you have one?”

“I can ask Dean later.” Ron mumbled. “I think it was on the front page actually.”

Sirius nodded and then looked at Harry sternly. “Now, Harry. Have you thought about what I asked you last night? You don’t have to decide now, I just wanted you to know that living with me is still an option. It may take some time money-wise, but I will do my very best.”

“I told you we could stay in mine and Remus’ cabin.” You said softly. “You’d have to share my room and Harry can take the guest room. I’d be happy to have him and Remus will be, too.”

“Yes, but I thought that maybe we could go to Grimmauld Place if you’d prefer it. I wouldn’t want to impose on you.” Sirius explained softly.

“Impose?” You chuckled. “I’d love to have you with us and Harry, as well. I spent twelve years without you and my godson. You couldn’t possibly impose on us. And I’m sure Remus would love you two being there, as well. You could help us out as Padfoot, Sirius.”

“If you’d like that.”

“I’d love it!”

Harry looked back and forth between the two of you before he smiled brightly. “Sirius, (Y/N), are you being serious?”

“No, I’m Sirius. She’s (Y/N).” Sirius joked.

“Oh, please stop.” Ron groaned in fake-annoyance.

“No, but Harry, we are completely serious.” Sirius said softly. “I’m your godfather and she is your godmother. We’d be more than happy to have you with us.”

“If you want to.”

“Of course, I want to!” Harry smiled. “But what about the legal stuff.”

“We’ll deal with it.” You smiled softly. “You can decorate the room like you want to. I’m pretty good at decorating rooms. You can choose a wall colour, furniture and whatever else you want.”

“And we’ll practice flying in the backyard and we’ll buy you a new broom.”

“Are you sure Remus is alright with it?”

“More than alright.” Came Remus’ voice who approached the five of you, supporting his weight on a cane. “Harry, we would love to have you with us.”

“I would love to live with you all.” 

Sirius and you smiled at one another before you pulled Harry into a hug. It lasted for a few moments before Harry let go and went to hug Remus. You leaned into Sirius and looked up to kiss his cheek. He pulled you closer as you watched Harry excitedly talk to his friends who looked very happy for him.

You smiled at Sirius. “We’ll finally be happy now.”

He nodded in agreement. “That we will. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Ron made a face. “That’s gross. Harry, mate, are you sure about this?”

Harry chuckled and so did Hermione. Remus shook his head with a smile and you and Sirius started to laugh happily. 

You were finally happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm done. I got done pretty fast because I had already started writing most of it.  
I hope you enjoyed it ^^ Kudos and Comments are always appreciated. You can also always request Inserts.
> 
> See you ^^

**Author's Note:**

> I had this in the rafters for a while, so I uploaded it. I hope you enjoyed it. Comments and Kudos are always appreciated. See you ^^


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